feeling troubled this few days about everything.. never ending worries.. all the responsibilities are suffocating me.. i have hardworking does not mean i am divine.. i am perfectionist not God.. i aim for everything to be acceptable for myself.. clearly this is not the person u know before.. i dun even know why did i place all this stress on myself.. i am accountable for mummy and the family.. but apparently not being appreciated.. all the hardwork for the family since to be extra.. Getting top student? SO WHAT?? ur family doesnt acknowledge.. why is this so?? feel so suffocating..
why do i enjoy going there and not home.. cause i am free from worries.. or rather i have to go there.. i dun have a choice.. everyone told me to dun wry relax.. and im trying to too.. but when u come home or face with project.. the feelings is like..
this few weeks.. i lost the meaning for working hard.. why work so hard?? and also this awful feeling: You are in the crowd with your frens.. everything and everybody is so happy but u know that the smile that u put up is a show.. deep inside u are worried, anxious and frustrated that u are so helpless..
5 years and counting.. and i do not have much time.. and i have all these crap on mind.. i need a timeout.. i so needa go cycling, ice skating.. someone?? lol
Nate
